I’ll Know Who I Am When I Get There


After high school I didn’t really have a concrete plan of what I wanted to do with my life and that didn’t bother me; I would figure it out as I went along.  I had a lot of interests; I studied journalism for a year, and then switched to computers which were just starting to change the world.

I continually committed myself to more than I could do, but I didn’t see the logic yet.  I always seemed to sign up for one class too many, then would get stressed about the workload.  Soon I was running to the Registrar’s office to drop a class.

Sweet relief, followed by an awful guilt.

I got a two year degree but knew I wanted more.  I studied graphic design while working at a job I stumbled onto.  I fell in love and quickly married.

It was like falling from the sky and landing on a big fluffy cloud—I was so happy.  I didn’t know myself and I was not even cognizant of it.  I moved along from one thing to the next thing that presented itself to me.  Looking back I realize that I have an impulsive nature, which caused me to make some poor choices.  It didn’t help that I was driven by anxiety—anything to make it stop.  My job was stressing me out, so I leaped to another, finding a peacefulness I never expected. Continue reading

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Who would I be if I had never known you?


I was driving slowing down our dirt road, giving the song time to finish before I reached home.  I looked across the farm land and saw our neighbor’s house.  I had an instant thought—I would be a different person had I not known those people, my dear neighbors.

They showed me a world I never knew.

From near birth, they were a part of my life.  I witnessed life being lived by good, honest people with incredible work ethic, both at my house and at their house.  Together they raised me to live a life absent of envy; an incredible thing, really, the roots of which I cannot explain.  I learned that people are just people.  Every family has problems and troubled times—there is no need to hide in shame when you can seek solace in the arms of family and good friends. Continue reading